"Mama Chihuahua:
The World’s Fiercest Travel Partner"

An aggressive lap dog of a mother attacks
a mob of taxi driver

By Rachel S. Thurson

bookcover

*See the press release for What Color Is Your Jockstrap?

*Buy the book at Travelers Tales
or Amazon.com

Featured in the humor travel anthology,
What Color Is Your Jockstrap?
edited by Jen Leo
May 2006
, Travelers Tales
     

If my mother were a dog, she’d be a Chihuahua. Physically she looks nothing like her hair-challenged, anorexic, eye-bulging canine counterpart: She’s blessed with a Medusa-like mane of curly black hair, a curvaceous figure and sapphire eyes. It’s her behavior while traveling which makes her most like a small fighting dog: She’s impetuous, fierce, and compelled to physically assault anyone bigger than her if our personal space is invaded.

Over the years of our travels she’s frightened off a team of armedmuggers determined to procure our money belts in San Jose, Costa Rica, shamed a hash dealer out of his business in a village of the Himalayas, bluffed a charging yak in Tibet, and thwarted the advances of a smarmy Croatian policeman intent on kidnapping me and dragging me off to an uninhabited island for who knows what sort of domestic Adriatic tortures.

As a young child and before we began traveling together, I feared my mother.  She once hurled a 200-pound dresser down the stairwell at my father in a rage over a vacation dispute.  And I still remember how—during my high school years—she would embarrass me at dinner in front of dates I’d bring home. If I teased her one too many times, as teenagers are prone to do, she’d get that evil twinkle in her eye. Before I had time to escape, she would catch me, strategically place her leg behind mind, push me back, tackle me, and grind her sharp elbows into my chest until I conceded defeat.

She would cackle her alpha she-male laugh as I wriggled helplessly on the linoleum floor, winking at my potential suitor as if to say, “This is what will happen to you if you don’t treat my daughter well.”

I know from years of various public embarrassments that there’s nothing more humiliating than drooling on yourself on a linoleum floor beneath the weight of your mother in front of a date.

I used to fantasize that one day I’d have my own sweet revenge against “Mommy Dearest.” She’d be old and crippled and confined to a hand-pushed wheelchair and if she ever got out of line with me, then I’d let her go flying down a long steep wheelchair ramp, heading disastrously for a hedge. Something which wouldn’t kill her but would at least scratch her up a little and make her think twice about being such a smart ass to me.

I never expected she would become the best travel partner I’ve ever had.

After my parents’ divorce, we began traveling together as mother and daughter....

 

Want to read more?

Check out the book at Travelers Tales
or Amazon.com

 

 

Copyright Rachel S. Thurston 2010. All rights reserved.
Email: rachel@rsthurston.com
Last Updated November 22, 2010.